What Would Mary Do??

Many people have an idea that Biblical parenting involves switching your children. I could see how this could be a conception that people have, seeing the oft quoted Proverbs verses that admonish that to spare the rod is to hate your son. I am not going to discuss here what these Proverbs mean or even what the different veiwpoints are, for that is not the purpose of this post.





We are going to discuss a little about Jesus' own upbringing.





In Luke 2:41-52, we see Jesus going into Jerusalem with his family for the Passover. This was a common occurance and shows that his parents were devout in thier religion. At the end of the stay,

"and when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, but supposing him to be in the company they went a day's journey, and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintances; and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, "

Josheph and Mary had no idea that Jesus had hung back at Jerusalem, so it's not like he asked to stay there.

they returned to Jerusalem, seeking him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions; and all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. And when they saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him 'Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously.'

No yelling, no arguing, no beating or Dad brandishing his belt. Just "Why did you do this? We've been worried sick and you've been missing for 5 days!"

And he said to them, 'How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?' And they did not understand the saying which he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature, and grew in favor with God and man."

Jesus, little 12 year old that He was, answered them back. He didn't get switched for it, evn though they didn't understand what he was saying. They didn't accuse Him of lying to them, even though his "father" had been searching for Him and the temple most certainly wasn't Joseph's house. They went home and life continued.

I think there is much to be gleaned from this passage in scripture. Parenting wise, Jesus wasn't hurt for something that many kids today would get spanked for. He didn't mean to do wrong, so it wasn't a sin. Many kids today don't mean to do wrong, but they are punished anyways. Why can't we just sit down and talk to them about the consequences of their actions, on them adn on everyone else? Breed compasion in our children when they are young, and they will be sensitive when they are older.

For a reference on what the Bible means when they talk of "the rod", http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/weblog/archives/2007/06/index.html#a000070

or this article http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/weblog/archives/2007/03/index.html#a000068

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said,
“and I will make you fishers of men.”

The Importance of Gentle Birth

What is the importance of gentle birth? There may be no importance, it may be the most important instance in the world. At any rate, it's easy to decide.

1. Look at the stastisics. At least one in four births will be a C-section. That would look like this: a a a A a a a A a a a A a a a A a a a A The actual number of needed Cesareans is closer to five in one hundred.
2. The level of intervention in non-gentle childbirth is HUGE. Starting with simply limiting the food and water intake of the mother and forcing her to lay on her back.
3. Babies who are born into a harsh enviroment and separated from mom have lower apgar scores, more problems establishing nursing, and higher infant mortality rates.
4. Gentle birthing is easier on the mother.
5. It increases bonding and attatchment between parent and child.
6. Parents who are able to successfully bond with their children have much lower rates of child abuse than those who maybe didn't have the optimum bonding.

And which of us couldn't use all the loving bonding with our babies? Christ tells us to "Love one another, that your joy may be full". In my experience, natural gentle childbirth just facilitates a wonderful, beautiful loving feeling toward everyone around and your baby and husband, espessially.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said,
“and I will make you fishers of men.”

Gentle Parenting

I have stuggled with the whole Parenting issue. I never had much of what you would call "positive role modeling" and so when it comes to so many things to do with children, I feel at a loss as to what needs to happen. I have read some "Christian" parenting books that ascribe to the thought that your child is manipulative and out to get away with things, and that it's bad, right from the beginning. This makes me slightly ill. I think that children are inherently selfish. They have to be. It is right and good for them to be this way. If they aren't taken care of, they will die. I think that when a parent denies their child the very basic human stuff of life, like food, it can cause some serious issues. I also believe that babies are naturally highly intelligent. A child's brain is 75% developed by the ripe old age of two. So when someone tells me that a baby doesn't know why it's crying, or even where the sound is coming from, I want to shake them. The only thing a baby doesn't know is how to verbalize and communicate other than by crying.

I have found that's it's relatively easy to teach a child not to cry unless something is wrong. You hold them as newborns. You rock them and feed them and you stay with them all the time and answer their every cry. Before they cry, even. Pretty soon, they learn that they can trust you. You're not going to run away and you are going to care for them. soon, they don't cry anymore. they learn nicer noises, grunts and whines and coos that tell you what is going on. I have found this to be true with both of my children, and they have just about opposite personalities.

I think that the way to successful parenting is in the example. If you want to have violent children, you hit them,let others hit them anach them hit back. You don't teach them to control their wild outbursts. If you want loving, kind children who always see the good, you handle them gently but firmly, you don't allow anyone to hurt them, and you teach them (by example) to give of themselves, expecting no reward.

As one nice little sign I have says:

If a child lives with critsism, He learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidance
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself
If a child lives with acceptance and freindship, he learns to find love in the world.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said,
“and I will make you fishers of men.”